You're a Texan if......

1. You can properly pronounce Corsicana,

Palestine , Decatur , Wichita Falls , San

Antonio, Burnet, Boerne, Nacogdoches ,

Mexia, Waco , Amarillo , and Waxahachie.



2. A tornado warning siren is your signal to

go out in the yard and look for a funnel.



3. You've ever had to switch from

"heat" to "A/C" in the same day.



4. You know that the true value of a parking

space is not determined by the distance

to the door, but by the availability of shade.



5. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.



6. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.



7. You measure distance in minutes .



8. Little Smokies are something you

serve only for special occasions.



9. You go to the lake because you

think it is like going to the ocean.



10. You listen to the weather forecast

before picking out an outfit



11. You know cow-pies are not made of beef.



12.. Someone you know has used a football

schedule to plan their wedding date.



13. You have known someone who has had a

belt buckle bigger than your fist.



14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental,

ammunition, and bait all in the same store.



15. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.



16. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol;

a Ford F350 4x4 is.



17. You know everything goes better

with Ranch dressin'.



18. You learned how to shoot a gun

before you learned how to multiply.



19. You actually understand this and you are

"fixin' to" send it to your friends.



20. Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have

ever heard this conversation:

" You wanna coke?" "Yeah."

"What kind?" "Dr. Pepper."

Holy **** Steve...I'm a Texan...and I ain't even, never been there!!



Your #9 Really hit home...I was at a friends playing a good game of pool/billiards ...When their daughter picked a a big seashell put it to her ear and said...Daddy I can hear the River...Ya might be a redneck...



Only #5 doesn't fit...stores don't have sacks...men do...Here in PA

Just in case you're traveling to Saskatchewan, here is a list of things to keep in mind:



1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym.



2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a 4-wheel drive because I need it. Now drive or get it out of the way.



3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine-years-old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.



4. Any references to "grain fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked...by our women.



5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an *****.



6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.



7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.



8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes unsweetened in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.



9. You bring Coke into my house you should bring rye along, and ice.



10. So you have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We have

quarter-million-dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.



11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.



12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, you’re a feminist. Isn't that cute.



13. Yeah, we eat trout, Northern, walleye, and pike, too. If you really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.



14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't

like it? Highways #1 and the Yellowhead go two ways - get on one of them.



15. The "Opener" refers to the first days of fishing and deer season. They are religious holidays. You can get breakfast at the church.



16. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?



17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit into the water hazards. It spooks the fish. And stay out of the woods, that spooks the deer...