Richard - I feel your pain and hear your heart. You sound like you're talking about my wife. Didn't know there could be 2 like that in the world, but obviously there is.
I need to ask you a question. I don't know you and I don't want to be assuming here...there is much to much at stake here. Do you and your wife know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior? Have you ever invited Him into your heart to be just that, Lord and Savior of your life? If not, now would be a great time(2Cor.6:2). It is a simple prayer that is outlined in Romans 10:9,10, typically called the sinners prayer which consists of confessing Jesus as Lord, that you are a sinner(as we ALL are), asking for forgiveness thereof, and professing belief with all your heart that Jesus was who he said He was, and did all He said He was going to do. Too many people get caught up in the lie that if you're a ''good person, go to Church every Sunday, classes on Wednesday nights, give constantly to charities, never swear, be a great neighbor, father, mother, brother, sister, etc, friend to all, have the ability to quote Scripture, etc, etc,....that you are ''right with God''!!! Although all these things are great, nothing could be further from the truth. All the good deeds in the world will not get you into Heaven or into a relationship with Jesus. We are saved by grace through faith(Eph 2:8,9). And it is not about the ''intellectual knowledge'' of Jesus. We must move him just 15 inches...from our mind to our heart, and that is when information turns into transformation, lives are changed - forever!!! Richard, I hope I'm preaching to the choir, but if I'm not, or even if I am, and you have any questions or would like to talk, I welcome your call. God Bless!!!