Wake up everbody!

Good recap Droptine. The best thing about doing something stupid is living to talk about it! If you don't do nothing, you don't do nothing wrong!!!

About 20 odd years ago we had herd of fallow deer. We also had woven wire fence and the fawns wanted to slip through it so we covered the bottom couple of feet with chicken wire. It worked good until about Sept when the herd buck wrapped some the chicken wire around his horns and peeled off about 50 feet of it. We decided to just grab the twisted up wire and pull the buck to us where we could snip off the wire. Bad bad idea. First a 250lb fallow buck can drag two men all over the place. Second twisted chicken wire really grabs a person't gloves..making it tough to let go while there is tension on it. Chicken wire and bucks..bad combination!

I'll tell one on Brad - a little unfair since he isn't on here to defend himself, but it sure was funny.



We were brining a yearling doe we bought into our pen. We ran her through the sellers chute and into a box. We unloaded the box and just as we were about to open it and let her out, we realized that we had forgotten to change out her ear tag. Now, this was not a tame yearling, and we knew that the chances of catching her and making a tackle as she bolted from the box were pretty slim, so Brad came up with an idea. He decided that he could crawl in the box with her, sit on her and switch out the tag. Now, visualize for a minute a cartoon where the two characters are inside a box, and the box is flexing and bouncing and looks like it is about to explode, the sides bulging out, it rocking back and forth about to roll over...now you are seeing what I did!!! It sounded like there were 10 deer in that box, all fighting like hyenas to get out. Brad, after a lot of grunting and cursing, finally yelled "OPEN IT!!!!!" and so I raised the end panel and the deer shot out of there like it was a cannon. Brad came out a little slower. He staggered to his feet, shook his head, and as he turned to walk away, it was a full moon a shining! That deer had managed to shred his jeans, the butt of them haning to his knees, and his underwear were ripped right down the middle! He walked away with his cheeks just glistening in the moonlight. There were a lot of "assless chaps" and similar jokes around here for a long time after that!



Anybody else ever do any bare butt deer wrangling????

That`s a good one Robbie !!! Rolling !!! Steve will have to recap that one !!! Only climb in a deer crate with a deer if your in full leathers or Naked !!! LMAO

Robbie said:

I'll tell one on Brad - a little unfair since he isn't on here to defend himself, but it sure was funny.



We were brining a yearling doe we bought into our pen. We ran her through the sellers chute and into a box. We unloaded the box and just as we were about to open it and let her out, we realized that we had forgotten to change out her ear tag. Now, this was not a tame yearling, and we knew that the chances of catching her and making a tackle as she bolted from the box were pretty slim, so Brad came up with an idea. He decided that he could crawl in the box with her, sit on her and switch out the tag. Now, visualize for a minute a cartoon where the two characters are inside a box, and the box is flexing and bouncing and looks like it is about to explode, the sides bulging out, it rocking back and forth about to roll over...now you are seeing what I did!!! It sounded like there were 10 deer in that box, all fighting like hyenas to get out. Brad, after a lot of grunting and cursing, finally yelled "OPEN IT!!!!!" and so I raised the end panel and the deer shot out of there like it was a cannon. Brad came out a little slower. He staggered to his feet, shook his head, and as he turned to walk away, it was a full moon a shining! That deer had managed to shred his jeans, the butt of them haning to his knees, and his underwear were ripped right down the middle! He walked away with his cheeks just glistening in the moonlight. There were a lot of "assless chaps" and similar jokes around here for a long time after that!



Anybody else ever do any bare butt deer wrangling????

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Too funny Robbie! It's amazing how fast a deer can undress a full grown man! I had a bottle fed doe fawn get out one time. She let me walk right up to her, pet her, and then let me pick her up. It was September so she was quite the HEALTHY size by this time. About half way through our walk back down to the pen she decided that she wasn't too happy about being carried by me anymore. By the time I got her to the pen she had my shirt ripped (in about 7 or 8 places), my shorts ripped, and the whole deal (boxers, shorts and all), down to my ankels! I waddeled her into the pen with some nasty cuts and bruises to show for it. When I finally set her down in the pen she just looked at me like... "what's the problem!" I walked in the door all beat up, and my wife just looked at me... she said "wrestling with the deer again huh?" Man they are strong! Before anybody asks... I managed to pull my shorts up before going into the house!

Mike I don`t have to ask !!! LMAO Your wife wasn`t laughing was my first clue !!! LOL

When I have to carry a live wide-awake deer ( doe or buck fawn less than 100 lbs) I use the bear hug method, grabing an unsuspecting bottlefed around the chest and locking our hands together will make the deer instinctivly rear up, just rise up with it and carry it with the legs flailing in outerspace, they usually don't start kicking for 10-15 seconds, which can give you the time needed to get them into a crate. I once caught and held a doe (140 lbs) that got through the squeeze when we were pulling cidrs, rather than runnung here back through and messing up the order, we went into the corral she was in and when she tried to squeeze between me and the wall I semi-clotheslined her causeing her to rear up and then transioned to the bear-hug position (patented) while others pulled the cidr and gave PMSG. Now if any one wants to try this they have to send me five bucks or post video of their success and or failure.

I told this story a few years ago on this site soon after it happened. I was carrying my son to school (high school freshman). We were running on time and shooting the breeze when all of a sudden a very young 11 pt. ran in the road in front of us. No time to swerve or apply the brakes we hit him. It got my front right bumper, grill, hood and windshield. Since I had full coverage I thought it necessary to have an officer come and investigate for insurance reasons. So...at 7:30 a.m. I called the sherriff's dept. thinking it was in my county. Abt. 7:45 a deputy shows up and decides to call the highway patrol since it was on a state hwy. Abt. 8:15 a patrolman shows up and decides to call the game warden. Abt. 9:30 a game warden shows up. We now are late for school and my business...and no written report yet! The game warden shows up looks at my vehicle, then the deer. I had virtually gutted the animal on impact but never gave that any thought. Well...the warden makes it over to the crowd of officials and opens his investigation with one question..."has this deer been field dressed?" Altho' I handled his question with great restraint, I felt urged to reply in similar fashion. "No Sir. That's exactly how he hit the ground. Most of his intestines are somewhere on my truck." The warden looks my vehicle over as he is writting, then remarks " Well, he sure did a number on your truck, Sir" said the warden. I replied, "Yes Sir, he did,but I guess it was worth it" I replied. Honest to goodness the warden the asked "What exactly do you mean by that?" My answer was..."At least I got my truck sighted in!" Everyone except the warden and I busted out laughing.

OK, I guess I have to tell this one. This was about 15 years ago, in my younger, WILDER days.



It was about 2am on a Saturday night. I was headed home from the local bar where I had been shooting pool all evening. I had drank a few beers during the night, but wasn't nowhere near drunk. I was heading down the road, when I noticed a deer laying along the edge of the road. It didn't seem hurt, just laying there. I stopped and backed up, it just looked at me. By this time a friend of mine, headed home on the same road from the same bar, came up on me standing in the road. I told him what I had found. As I started to walk up to the deer, it tried to get up but couldn't. Apparently, it had been hit by a car, and was hurt pretty bad. It couldn't even get to its feet. I had a .22 in the truck, but there were houses nearby. So we decided shooting a gun at 2am would not be a good idea. We didn't want to leave the deer to suffer. It was in the middle of January and it was near zero degrees. I decided that since I had a hammer in my truck, I would do the deed with it. I walked up to the deer and did what I needed to do. We quickly put the deer in the bed of my truck and down the road I went. The next thing I knew, the deer is standing up in the bed of my truck. I thought HOLY CRAP !! If anybody sees me I am in big trouble. By the time I made it 3 more miles down the road, the deer was laying dead in my truck. My buddy pulled in behind me, laughing his butt off. We went to the garage, cracked open a beer and started butchering.

OK, I got another one. This one happened a year or two prior to the first story. Different season and different friend. We were much younger men and some of us weren't so bright I guess. We must have been about 19 years old.



Myself and a friend went spring gobbler hunting one day. It was a rainy, windy day. A crappy turkey hunting day. About 9 am we called it quits and went home. My buddy dropped me off at my house and said he was going the long way home. To us, the long way means he was going over the mountain and going road hunting. Checking to see if he could catch a gobbler strutting in the field and sneek up and get a shot. Anyways, I had no sooner gotten in the house, gotten my wet hunting clothes off and dry clothes on, and he called. "GUESS WHAT !!" Yep, he got a gobbler. There was one problem. When he got home and opened the camper top on his truck, the turkey was standing there looking at him. He was calling for my advice on what to do. I busted out laughing as he was telling me this. Well, my advice to him went something like this.



#1 You can open the top and let the bird go free.

#2 You can shoot the bird again. But I didn't recommend that choice. Not in his new F-150 pick up.

#3 You can crawl in the back of the truck with the turkey and have your mom shut the camper top behind you. We will see who wins, you or the turkey. One bit of advice to go with this. When you grab a turkey by the neck, hold it down, DON'T PICK IT UP !! He didn't ask why, so I figured he knew why.



I didn't hear anything else from him the rest of the day. Later that evening, we met at the local pub for a weekly pool tournament. As soon as I walked in, I saw his face, I knew what he had done. He had grabbed that turkey by the neck and PICKED IT UP. The bird proceeded to slap him in the face with its wings. He now understands why I told him that. His face had black and blue stripes all down his cheeks and across his forehead. The rest of his face was red from being scraped by feathers. He did manage to dispatch the turkey. But, apparently not quick enough.



The only bad thing about this story is this happened around 1988. Years before the average family had a video camera. We could have made millions with this one !!

In our area there is a field of alfalfa on each side of the road. Each night in fall on the way home from work there would be a dead deer hit in the road. Now this was about thirty plus years ago. I believe in waste not want not and at that time the DRN did not enforce picking up road kills, if they even had a law at that time for that.



So every other night on the way home I would pick up a dead deer to butcher for my animal that would eat meat. This went on for a long time.

Well one night a car in front of me hit a deer so I stopped and put it in our family station wagon. I might add my wife always came home with me as we worked together in our business. My wife really didn’t like the picking up of the dead deer and would cuss me out every time I did it. Well back to this deer pick up that night. This area was about four miles from our ranch. As I drove down our drive way there was a commotion in the back of the station wagon. I looked back and the deer was standing looking around. I put on the gas to get in front of my house so we could get out as fast as we could of the car. My wife was getting out on her side and I was getting out on my side. The problem was so was the deer and he chose my wife’s side to get out on. Well when she got up with hoof prints up her back let’s just say I never put another deer in that station wagon. It’s pretty funny now but that night my wife was really upset with me. I don’t think I can remember any time in the fifty years we have been married my wife was as mad at me.

One of my AI does last year (bottle fed) got pretty wise to what was going on by the time I was going to pull the CIDR out. I ran her through with 6 other does. I have a crowding room in my facility that I use to push the deer down to the tunnel that eventually leads to the chute. Anyway, the last deer through is always last for a reason. I couldn't get her to go into the tunnel so I got on the business side of the rolling wall and pulled the wall as I tried to squeeze her down. Finally, when there was only enough room for myself and her, she let me know that she was NOT going to be running through the chute-she reached up with her front hoof and slapped me on the back of the bare hand. I was sure it was broken, and she made her point. Wound up darting her.

three words Jack...WRITE A BOOK

About ten years ago i was working along the east coast and got invited to go bear hunting in Va and i thought this is going to be great being for texas never had seen a wild bear. We got to the farm the morning the day before bow season was to open. That afternoon they ask me if i would like to go sit in a blind to see if any thing was coming into it and of course i said yes. they drove me up to the blind which they called the bone yard it was were they dump their dead chickens the place was a chicken farm an about every other day they dump dead chichens there. the stand was about two acres of cleared land on the side of a mountain with one tree in the middle of it with a 20 ft ladder stand on it. they showed me the stand and dump about 20 or so dead chickens

and told me after i was done watching to walk on down the road back to the house. NO problems i said and they left me there with only my back pack. Did not see the first bear till about 30 minutes before dark it was small about 100 lbs. the next bear to show up evan smaller. In the next ten minutes more bears a lot of bears and it is getting darker and darker by the minute and guess what no flashlight.. At that time i thought this started out being really cool but right now i dont like the situation i am in at all.. My plan was to drop the back pack and scare off the bears. And when that backpack it the the ground it did scare them. 1st lesson about black bears if you scare them they dont run off like whitetails they run up the first thind they can find and that was the tree i was in.. I think there was about 6 or more bear and one texan in that one tree. and i did what anyone would have done in this situation I jumped 20ft up sounded good at the time. My path to the ground was not clear. and i pealed a a big bear off the tree on my way down. He did break my fall because i landed on top of him. remeber it was dark it could have been a big hairy cow but i think it was a bear because it smelled like chicken as i rolled over and got to feet my thoughts were legs don't fail me now. Playing Marco Polo in the dark with bears was not fun at all. The first thing i found running in the dark was the chicken pile, Not good and the second thing was a big rock. This was not what i hope for at all i found every tree, rock, fence on way down that hill. I sat in that same stand for the next 3 days never saw another bear i guess that bear hunting ...

Thanks for the laughs everyone, great stories.



Randy, that is insane, LMAO

Thats when I say its gonna be a long night in the stand and i use my backpack as a pillow. Good story I enjoyed it. Thanks

the good stuff is starting to come out

after looking back found this! i guess my turn. i cannot come close to what ive read. but here goes about at least 30 yrs, ago i was fishing up river i saw doe swimming in front of Us. all had then was litte aluwinum boat and oars,but the race was on. for some reason was to catch. she finnaly made it to bank, but it was strait up. she just stood there and shook. we plowed right inbehind her. i had idea just put her in headlock well worked for few seconds. there was tree over the yrs, water had washed most dirt from around roots.she feel in roots i just held on. then she started kicking the crap out of me! lucky enough the tree was 45 degree angle, from all the water. she ran up the tree and bailed half way across the river.we had knife and needed some camp meat i wished for long time would stabbed her.but probably would went for ribs. glad she got away little scared.but she was tearing me up with those hoofs. actually i done stunned buck !please dont try. after kicking and jumping he ran away,makes you feel kina stupid.DC

Sittin in tree stand one night,three yotes come across the field and go in brush in front of me,just before dark yote comes out from behind,i stand,draw,BUSTED get of quick shot yote runs in woods behind me growlin barkin snappin teeth,now its dark off to my right a group starts howlin off to my left they get an answer,now the ones in the brush start,now i have yotes all around and one pissed off one behind me,i call wife on cell,drive across the field in pickup to pick me up,she says how will i find you,i say just look for the little light up in the trees,thats me!!!!!Way to many yotes

Been waiting 3 months for that DC....don't you wish someone had a video camera?